My Family Life is so busy I have no time to myself!
I Want To Do Something For Me
Do you ever feel like you have completely lost your identity as a woman and are “just a mom?” Take comfort in the fact that you are far from alone in feeling this way. Many moms, especially new moms, have a hard time trying to adjust to family life and their role in being both a mom and a woman. For most of us, it becomes difficult to make the distinction and we start to lose ourselves in our identity of being a busy mom and lost in the pressure of family life.
While most of us enjoy family life, motherhood and our role in caring for our children, we never want to lose ourselves in this role. After all, we raise our children to become independent adults, right? What happens when that independent adult leaves the nest and goes out on their own?
Family life,trying to do it all?
Most busy moms feel overworked and underappreciated. Part of the problem family life can be really busy and that the woman of the house is used to doing everything for everyone else and often skips doing things just for herself. Ask any woman why she doesn’t have any “me” time, she will most likely tell you that she doesn’t have the time or feels “guilty”taking time out for herself.
Getting Over the Guilt
It is imperative that you maintain your identity as a woman and not just someone’s mom or partner for more than one reason.
You have to realize that your children will eventually grow up and go on their own, but having your own identity also gives your children a sense of security about you as well. Children, more than anything in the world, want to feel safe. And you can make them feel safe if you provide for them a family life environment that is secure. The more secure and happy you feel, the safer they will feel. You should, therefore, not feel guilty about wanting to do something for yourself and ease off being a busy mom for at least a short while.
Single moms in particular feel the guilt when it comes to trying to find some “me” time. Because they have double the responsibility, they often feel they have to
overcompensate. Other single moms feel uncomfortable about going out by themselves to a movie or dinner without an escort. Money may also an issue with many single moms who feel that they cannot afford to treat themselves to some pampering. The truth of the matter is that they cannot afford not to treat themselves to a little “me” time.
Taking Some Time Off For Yourself
Whether you are single, married or have a significant other, you have to step away from your role as “mom” and the pressure of family life to reclaim your identity as a woman in order to have at least some balance in your life.
While most of us enjoy family life, motherhood and our role in caring for our children, we never want to lose ourselves in this role. After all, we raise our children to become independent adults, right? What happens when that independent adult leaves the nest and goes out on their own?
Family life,trying to do it all?
Most busy moms feel overworked and underappreciated. Part of the problem family life can be really busy and that the woman of the house is used to doing everything for everyone else and often skips doing things just for herself. Ask any woman why she doesn’t have any “me” time, she will most likely tell you that she doesn’t have the time or feels “guilty”taking time out for herself.
Getting Over the Guilt
It is imperative that you maintain your identity as a woman and not just someone’s mom or partner for more than one reason.
You have to realize that your children will eventually grow up and go on their own, but having your own identity also gives your children a sense of security about you as well. Children, more than anything in the world, want to feel safe. And you can make them feel safe if you provide for them a family life environment that is secure. The more secure and happy you feel, the safer they will feel. You should, therefore, not feel guilty about wanting to do something for yourself and ease off being a busy mom for at least a short while.
Single moms in particular feel the guilt when it comes to trying to find some “me” time. Because they have double the responsibility, they often feel they have to
overcompensate. Other single moms feel uncomfortable about going out by themselves to a movie or dinner without an escort. Money may also an issue with many single moms who feel that they cannot afford to treat themselves to some pampering. The truth of the matter is that they cannot afford not to treat themselves to a little “me” time.
Taking Some Time Off For Yourself
Whether you are single, married or have a significant other, you have to step away from your role as “mom” and the pressure of family life to reclaim your identity as a woman in order to have at least some balance in your life.
Here are some tips for busy moms to find time for themselves :
Set aside a half an hour each day to catch up on reading the newspaper, magazines or even a book. Make sure that this is your relaxation time. Do this in the morning or even when you get home from work. Tell the kids that this is “mom” time and that you cannot be disturbed unless it is urgent.
Take a trip to the nearest coffee shop and grab a cup of coffee while reading a book. This is very inexpensive and a nice treat. It takes you away from the role of “mom” and into the role of you. It allows you to regroup.
Go shopping with a friend or even by yourself. If you cannot afford to buy anything, go window shopping. Or seek out second hand shops where you can get some fun bargains that will not cost you a lot of money.
Put the kids to bed earlier than you go to bed so that you can have some time to yourself. As your children get older, this will be easier as they will most likely not rely on you as much for everything. You are still close by, but can be watching a movie or a television show that you like.
As much as we love family life and being moms, there are times when we need to regain our identity. If we continue to only identify ourselves with our children and a being that busy mom taking care of family life, we run the risk of living through our children and making them accountable for all of our happiness. This is an unfair burden to place on anyone.
Making your children your number one priority is the objective of any good mother. But do not neglect yourself in the process, or risk losing your identity as a person.
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